Sometimes when I lay here

Before and during

Before and during

October is Breast Cancer awareness month.  It was a year ago that Barbara Nolden, Anamoose graduate of 1974, now living in Minot, was diagnosed with Invasive Carcinoma breast cancer.  I have documented her journey in her words on fb and I want to share this poem she wrote during her journey and battle.

Written by Barbara A. Nolden January 2016
The other night – the 21st into the 22nd – I think I slept 3 1/2 hours….woke up to go to the bathroom and couldn’t go back to sleep and the last time I looked at the clock it was somewhere before or just after 5….started drifting – and the alarm goes off… So in the middle of all this being awake – I wrote this down… cuz sometimes my mind wanders – in the middle of the night.

Sometimes when I lay here
In the middle of the night
In the wee hours of morning
In the quiet – only the clock ticking
I think to myself. . .
How did I get to have grandchildren?
How did I get to be sixty?
How is it that my hair is mostly gray?
When did this happen? I wasn’t watching…

In the middle of the night
In the wee hours off morning
In the quiet- only the clock ticking
I think to myself. . .
How did this cancer happen?
Hiding in my breast where couldn’t feel it
Hiding in my armpit where I didn’t notice
And now my life changes – I am fighting a
War – a battle against the cancer
A battle for LIFE

In the middle of the night
In the wee hours of morning
In the quiet – only the clock ticking
I think to myself. . .
How did it happen that all my hair is gone?
From my head to my legs and even my nose
That my hands and feet are peeling
My favorite foods don’t taste the same
The changes in my body are from the drugs
And chemicals they are giving me to fight this beast.

In the middle of the night
In the wee hours of morning
In the quiet – only the clock ticking
I think to myself. . .
My God will guide me through this test
My Lord will protect me from damages
To my body and psyche
I pray and I know prayers are heard
And I will be alright!

Barbara has been asked to share her experience at the Trinity Cancer Care Women’s Panel on Breast Cancer Survivorship, Thursday, October 13th.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Sometimes when I lay here

  1. Sandy says:

    Thanks for sharing this!

  2. galoa91 says:

    Barbie I lost a half sister to breast cancer several years ago.. It scares me that someday I may get it too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s